Tag Archives: be yourself

’tis the season

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I love this time of year. I went shopping today and even though it was a madhouse, I had a great time.

I bought new pillows. And some fun holiday decorations. Whee!

Work is FINE. I have loved having time off this long weekend – it’s been just what the doctor ordered. But all in all I don’t really mind going to work every day. I feel like I’m at a good place in my career and in my life and I’m enjoying the moments.

This month will be packed and I’m looking forward to all the festivities. Last year at this time I was just beginning round 2 of the Fanny & Jane Major Holiday Bake-a-Thon 2009 All-Stars Edition and was about to experience one of the hardest months of my young life.

I weathered that storm, though, and came out of it going “Oh, hell no” about attempting it again this year. It’s just not in the cards right now. Never say never, but for now, we’re on an extended hiatus and I’m more than okay with that.

I’m excited to don a couple of party dresses in the next few weeks, clink glasses with my friends and toast to the season, good cheer and each other.

the dirty thirty

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I have so many photos to share from my birthday trip to Florida! This one was taken during the delightful sunset marine life cruise we took off the coast of Sarasota.

Most of the rest of the shots are intimate close-ups of all the sinful food I ate including but not limited to Mexican, fried breakfast items and a delicious steak and potatoes meal from a fine dining establishment.

All in all, I had a nice time in Florida with Kev and got to reconnect with my mom and stepdad, both of whom I’m lucky to have in my life because they’re fun and nice and smart and they laugh at my jokes.

And now I’m 30! It happened just like that. Overnight.

I’m having a birthday party at my apartment in Brooklyn this weekend with some friends. Looking quite forward to it. (If you’re in New York and you’d like to come – please do! Email me for details. We have two cats, so consider your stance on that first.)

I’m still adjusting to being an old woman, but so far it’s not so bad. I feel mostly happy to have gotten the transition itself over with, which seems to have been the worst part. Now I just feel confident, mature, responsible, and like I can do whatever the hell I want because I’m 30, bitches!

Work is fine. It’s not exactly what I want to be doing with my time, but I’m not entirely sure what else I would be doing with my time right now. Plus, making money is a good reason to get up in the morning.

Speaking of which, I finally settled my boots search on these little darlings, which are Clarks, arrived in the mail from Zappos yesterday and are as comfortable as can be. They’re exactly what I wanted.

Thirty: kicking ass, taking names, and only buying boots that I really love.

 

FRIDAAAAY!

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YES! Friday. The weekend awaits.

After a week of trying to re-acclimate myself to this lifestyle, I’m finally remembering the good stuff about having a job like this one.

One might ask oneself why I wasn’t able to hone in on these features during my last stint at a desk job, why I made a whole stink about quitting if it wasn’t so bad after all?

The answer is two-fold: First, I seem to have matured dramatically during this last year. I’m not as irritated by other humans as I used to be, I’m more patient, and I don’t take things as personally as I used to. Hurray. I definitely needed a year away from this environment to feel that way, though. And second, this particular job is So Much Better than the last one. In the world of office jobs, it doesn’t take much to make one job So Much Better than another, but those little instances add up.

One thing I missed about having a paycheck job was getting a PAYCHECK. I got one yesterday. I get another one next week. Is this heaven?

I also missed Fridays. In fact, from the moment I quit my last job I missed Fridays. You know, everyone’s saying “Happy Friday!” or “Have a great weekend,” everyone’s ready to bust out of the office and go do their thang – it’s like high school on a Friday but with more spending money and fewer raging hormones. When you work for yourself from home, there’s no such thing as Friday, at least there wasn’t for me. Every day was, like, a Tuesday. Or a really busy Saturday where you have to run a lot of errands.

I said to my friend Jess (of See Jess Run) in an email yesterday that returning to an office job wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I quit my last job, but working from home for myself ended up not being exactly what I had in mind either. It just wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be. Yes, I still plan to pursue a career that I’m passionate about, but now I have a new approach.

So. Learning. Adjusting. Moving forward. Blah blah.

Have a great weekend, all. And – you know – Happy Friday.

my new job

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I’m back in Brooklyn after a great week in Los Angeles. I had a blast on the trip, but I’m glad to be home – I am reminded how much I love New York City.

Today, Kevin made us brunch, then we did some shopping (new shoes!), and walked over the Brooklyn Bridge in the evening. It was perfect.

Los Angeles was an awesome experience for Harvard Sailing Team. We had so much fun together, got a lot done, and things are moving in a great direction right now – we’re definitely pinching ourselves.
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fanny & jane 2010

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This post doesn’t contain my “secret,” but it doesn’t contain a detail a few of you have been begging me to reveal!

What the heck is the status of Fanny & Jane this holiday season?

The short answer: We’re not opening the bakery for the 2010 holidays. Waaah!! I know, I know.

Here’s why:

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…and the season has changed

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There we are at the premiere of our short film “Another Psycho” at the Friar’s Club Film Festival last weekend! We’re standing with the incredibly talented gentlemen who directed, edited and produced our idea into a fantastic little film. The premiere was a blast. I wish I had some better photos but I left my camera battery at home (Boo!! Hisssss!!!). For those who have asked, I’m not yet sure when we can show the movie to everybody, or if it will be online. I’ll definitely let you know.

Other than that, where the hell have I been??

I’ve been working! Still temping at the attorney’s office, which has been busy and exhausting. Today’s actually my last day! (Phewf.) I’ll be working from home for the rest of the week, rehearsing, writing, planning my class, etc.

And then on Saturday I’m going to Los Angeles for a whole week with Harvard Sailing Team! I’ve never been to LA before, if you can believe it. So I’m excited. I’ll get to see some old friends, enjoy the warmer temps, and we will be performing as a team for the first time ever on west coast. Cannot wait.

I am gonna miss Kev and the kitties and the beautiful autumn weather we’re having here in New York, though. I’m loving October so far. It is definitely (and finally) fall here.

So, I have some pretty big and surprising news to share. Major changes are underway. No, I’m not engaged or pregnant. It’s news relating to this professional journey I’ve been on the for the last year! I can’t tell you just yet, though. Sorry. That’s so lame, I know. Soon enough…

I can say that in two weeks it will be one full year since I quit my boring desk job. When I left that office on October 16, 2009, I could not have imagined or anticipated the path that would lay ahead of me. It’s been a year full of excitement, surprise and even frustration and disappointment at times. But all in all, it’s been one of the smartest things I’ve ever done for myself.

Hope you’re all having a happy Monday.

More soon!

eight years later!

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Well, I totally dropped the ball on my promise to do some “good ol’ fashioned desk job entries” last week.

It’s Monday. And I’m still working an office temp gig this week (which has just been extended by a few days due to an unforeseen circumstance in the office). It pays well and I’m enjoying the routine. In fact, I think it’s making me more productive all-around. Interesting!

That said, I’m also busy as eff.

I would be remiss, however, if I didn’t point out that today is a special day for me. September 27 will always hold an important place in my heart because it’s the day I started losing weight in 2002. On this day eight years ago, I was a very, very heavy young woman. I weighed over 265 pounds, looked awful, felt worse, and had maaaybe owned three pieces of clothing I could fit into. It was a miserable reality.

Losing the weight and keeping it off hasn’t always been a cake-walk, but I feel so blessed to realize that eight years later, I’m so much thinner, happier, healthier and feel more at peace with my body than ever before. Changing my habits and behaviors wasn’t just a phase – I really DID it.

Do I still have to keep myself from eating too many french fries and force myself to workout? All the time. But those day to day mini-battles are meaningless (which is why I rarely talk about them) when compared to the big picture.

Eight years ago, on this day, I made a commitment to myself that I was going to change my physical reality. And I did. The old, fat me is screaming joyfully from the rooftops right now.

Moving on, here are a couple orders of business:

1.) My latest article’s over up at Spring!

2.) If you’re looking for a some direction in your professional or personal life my dear friend Michelle Ward, the When I Grow Up Coach (and one half of a coupla married cuties with whom Kevin and I love to double date), has partnered with her colleague and a very talented artist, Jessica Smith, to launch a brilliant new website and e-course called The Declaration of You! I love their plan and their passion, and I’m going to be taking the course MYSELF! So, maybe you should too?

the race + an update

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Today was my first full day alone at the temp job. I didn’t finish working until 9:30pm! I went in for a few hours on Sunday too. Boo. Today was a race against the clock, filled with lots of important legal details I was terrified to screw up.

I honestly don’t think these two weeks will be that bad (and ca-ching, ca-ching! the money’s good!), but right now my back is on fire and I’m exhausted.

It’s funny to be revisiting this lifestyle where I can’t fit in a workout, barely have time to eat lunch and feel like my retinas are burned into my head on the hour-long commute home. That stuff, along with the disjointedness of coming home knowing I won’t have time to clean up or do laundry for a week and a half, is some of why I quit my job. I’m not build for the nonstop race, I need time to reset.

In other news…

Harvard Sailing Team‘s new short film will premiere at the Friar’s Club Film Festival this weekend, and we all get to go to the screening! We worked hard on our little movie and had a great time making it, so we’re excited to watch it on the big screen. There’s also an after-party and an awards ceremony. Should be a super-fun weekend.

Jen+Steve, my two person improv team, won our first round at the PIT’s Sketchprov tournament. Winner of the whole event gets $2500. You never know!

My Acting for Sketch & Scripted Comedy class starts October 21. I’m excited and nervous! Eep!

And I’m still doing as much writing as I can, whenever possible.

Fanny & Jane…I haven’t mentioned in a while – huh? Well, as you know, we took a summer hiatus. The unofficial and official answer about what will happen this fall is: we don’t quite know yet. We know we can’t have the same experience we had last season, which was very productive, busy and lucrative, but it was also SO MUCH WORK OH MY GOD. And not in a great way. So stay tuned. Decisions will be made soon.

Oh, and shut the front door, I’m turning 30 in a month and a half. Yeesh.

If time allows I’ll try to do some classic desk-job updates while I’m at work this week! It’ll be like old times. :)

i remember now

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I told you in my last post that I’m temping in an office for the next three weeks. I wrote, “I’m actually excited to go back to an office environment to remind myself what it’s like.

Well, I remember now! IT SUCKS.

I mean, it’s fine. But it’s not my thing.

So far I’m doing a good job, staying focused and not allowing myself to feel like a fraud. I’m keeping in perspective that I’m more than someone’s assistant. It also helps that I know it’s only temporary, and that I have a full, colorful career on the outside.

But I also remember all too well when this corporate world was my every day and I didn’t always feel so hopeful. It makes me sad to think about the years I spent feeling trapped and unhappy.

So, why does it suck? Well, first of all I’m exhausted! After an hour working on a legal document I need three coffees and a hard smack in the face. The harsh lighting makes me feel grouchy, my commute this morning almost resulted in the death of everyone in my immediate vicinity, and the stupid printer jams all the time! It’s 2010! How is that still happening?!

I also can’t stand the fact that I’m always hungry, thirsty or really have to pee when I’m sitting at that desk. I can’t seem to strike a balance of physical contentment no matter what I do.

Still, I have had a few positive reminders that I’ll definitely take with me when these three weeks are over:

1. After lots of years of experience, I’m good at this type of job. I don’t like the work, but if I was so broke that I didn’t have another choice, I’ve got this skill set to fall back on.

2. Making it my business to do a good job no matter what task is in front of me is more fun (fun?) and easier than being pissed off and resentful. Taking notes instead of pretending I’ll remember everything helps too.

3. Getting older makes some things harder, but it makes a lot of things easier. I remember when I started my first-ever law firm job at age 23. I was terrified. Now I’m just amused.

4. If you’re not happy in your job you don’t have to work there. I’ve already passed so many people in the halls of the office who look a little dead inside. I want to slide them a note that says “Remember, you have options…”

another perspective

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I’ve had a great weekend but I’m glad it’s over. I drank way too much both Friday and Saturday nights, had so much fun, got to catch up with a bunch of good friends, and we did our first HST show of the fall season, which was a blast. But I’m really paying for it today. My tongue feels fuzzy and my eyes ache.

What’s worse is that I had to work today. On a Sunday! I landed a great temp gig at a law firm. (A law firm?!! I know, I know.) It’s very temporary, just three weeks, and the money is good. I’m actually excited to go back to an office environment to remind myself what it’s like. And temping for these three weeks will give me room to do a lot of fun, creative stuff this fall.

I went into the office for just a few hours today, met the woman I’ll be assisting and did some work. It was easy and fine and I’m eager to do a good job.

One of the big things I’ve realized since leaving my desk job last year was how much I allowed myself to feel like a fraud when I worked there. That fact has been at the forefront of my mind so often lately that I wrote an article about it for Spring this week called “Job Fraud.” I felt like a liar at my old job, like I didn’t belong, like I had to pretend every single day that I cared about what I was doing and wanted to keep doing it.

But going back into an office today for the first time in 11 months made me realize that I don’t have to feel like a fraud just because I’m working a gig I’m not passionate about. There’s another perspective.

I’m trying to make my living as a writer, an actor, a comedian, a blogger, and whatever else comes up that inspires me – and I work hard on those pursuits every day. They’re careers that take time to build and don’t pay a lot when you’re starting out, so I still have to have some paycheck gigs to make ends meet right now. But for the first time in my professional life, I don’t feel resentful about the paycheck jobs. I feel grateful for them. Because I’m using the rest of my energy to build something better.

So, I’ll let you know how it goes!! Assisting an attorney again will be a little like I’m visiting an old life, stepping back in time, but armed with the wisdom I’ve gained in the last year.

I don’t have to feel like a fraud. I’m a creative professional whose fab office skills will pay her rent this month. And I’m proud of it.