Category Archives: running

daily dessert

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Dessert yesterday was way too much of this really delicious coffee cake.

Today is the first day I’ve had “off” – completely obligation, chore or activity free – in probably over a month. I woke up late, I lazily ate breakfast while watching reruns on the Oxygen network, and I am still wearing my pajamas at 3pm.

Let me back up a little. Friday after work, I immediately began a very long evening of baking sweets for an order to be delivered on Saturday. Kevin, the godsend that he is, was right by my side the entire night, helping me get everything together. We worked from 8pm to 2am straight, without a break. I literally could not have done it without him.

I enjoyed the baking, like I always do. It was fun, relaxing, tiring and rewarding. If I hadn’t had to wake up at 6:45am the next morning (and by “the next morning,” I mean just a few hours later), I would have felt so pleased when my head hit the pillow. But, mentally, I was already onto the next task and it was hard to quiet my mind. Knowing the alarm was going to ring very soon, I had a few hours of restless sleep at best, and woke myself up out of anxiety dreams about frosting, counting and re-counting cupcakes.

I was up so early because I was due on Long Island at 8:30am for a full day (potentially a two-day) Harvard Sailing Team video shoot. We were going to be filming a couple of pilots we’ve been working on for a few months. And Chris’ parents generously offered up their beautiful, spacious house in the suburbs for the shoot.

The Fanny & Jane order I’d been prepping the night before hadn’t gone perfectly. Everything tasted delicious, but in my exhaustion, I’d made a mistake with the cupcake decorating, so while getting myself dressed and packed up for the shoot, I spent the morning fretting about those cupcakes. A splitting headache took up shop in my world for the day.

HST teammate, Sara, drove a few of us out to Chris’ parents house. (Thanks again, Sara!) We arrived a bit late, but the day eventually got underway and we successfully shot the two pilots we set out to make. AND, we didn’t end up having to stay overnight to shoot more the following day, which had been a possibility. We got it all done in one day.

It was a fun time with a lot of belly-laughs. And it was also a long day. I was super tired, still worrying about the cupcake order, and feeling chubby in my tight jeans and polo shirt – a perfect time to be on camera all day long! Luckily, things ended up working out just fine with the cupcake order. Also, I was spoiled by being able to take a beautiful, perfect nap after lunch since I wasn’t needed on set. I have so much respect for the people who worked all day long on the shoot – the four tireless guys behind the camera, Chris, who helped to direct every scene, and Chris’ mom, Pam, who spent the entire day making food, serving food or cleaning up after meals. She fed us SO many wonderful dishes – she is an amazing cook and an incredibly generous person.

When we piled back into Sara’s car at 1am to make the sleepy drive back to Brooklyn, we all felt really good about the work we’d done all day long. We got a lot accomplished and I think we’ll end up with some great videos.

So, this is all to tell you that my dessert yesterday was some really yummy coffee cake that Pam always serves along with a huge breakfast (eggs, fruit, bagels, bacon, coffee, juice) whenever we are at her house. I’ve never indulged in this coffee cake like I did yesterday. I ate a pretty generous portion of it, and had a few more bites later in the afternoon. I have no idea how it’s made or where it comes from (I’ll have to ask Pam), but it is to die for.

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Today, I’m gonna do whatever I want. So far, that has included next to nothing. Soon, I’ll do a nice long yoga session and go for a jog. My body is craving a little more exercise than I’ve been able to provide lately, so I’m going to make it a priority this upcoming week. Even though things are as busy as ever (lots of great stuff happening with Fanny & Jane – more on that soon), I feel like I’ve gotten through the marathon that was the month of July. Hello, August. Let’s do this.

daily dessert

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I don’t remember most of Sunday evening.

My mom, Tom, Kevin and I spent the earlier part of the day in one of my favorite ways – walking around Prospect Park and letting the day take us where it may. We all woke up late on Sunday and after a quick breakfast, threw on some gym clothes and headed out to get a little exercise and fresh air. I assumed we’d be gone 40 minutes, maybe an hour, as we made our way around the park walking briskly (and Tom on the bike). But we didn’t end up returning home for four hours!

We first did some walking and ran some stairs, then made our way over to the Dog Beach to watch the poochies swim (Have you ever seen the Prospect Park Dog Beach? You must go. It’s awesome.), then we (I) decided we needed some ice cream. On the recommendation of my friend Desiree, who guest blogged on follow my bliss a few months ago, we found Uncle Louie Gee’s and everyone enjoyed a treat. I got a scoop of vanilla snickers ice cream on a sugar cone and it was very good – I didn’t bring a camera or a phone, so I didn’t get a photo.

We also found an Arab-American festival where we ate delicious chicken gyros. And we happened upon a few sidewalk sales, where I finally bought my first-ever cast iron skillet, something I’ve been desiring for months. They are very expensive in the stores, but this one had never been used by the guy selling it and it only cost me $7! (And I was prepared to pay $10.) Gotta love that.

After being well fed, exercised and infused with the culture of Brooklyn, we headed home and collapsed. We spent the afternoon lounging around, watching TV and eventually sipping delicious fresh fruit vodka smoothies that my mom whipped up. By the time we left the apartment to go get some dinner in Manhattan, we were all pretty warm and chatty from the vodka drinks. They were DEELISH and I hope to make them again. Thanks, Mom!

work it out

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When I graduated college and began working full-time, I was overwhelmed by the task of maintaining my free time and space. Even though I’d worked three jobs during my senior year at NYU, I was still worried that an actual 9-5 type day job would majorly upset my sense of personal balance.

At the time, my life was mostly about two things: supporting myself financially so that I could continue living in New York, and losing the rest of the weight I’d already worked so hard to lose.

I’d gone through a very difficult, traumatic and ultimately transitional period a couple years earlier. It involved gaining 100 pounds, dropping out of school and eventually ending up homeless and jobless and toting my things around in my car which was broken into as often as I changed parking spaces. But after all that, I was finally on the road to recovery. I’d been seeing a therapist, I’d gotten a part-time job and then another and another, I’d lost a great deal of the weight, I’d gotten my own apartment, I’d gotten back in to school, I’d graduated – two years late, but I’d still graduated, and I’d gotten my first post-college, full-time, real-world desk job at a law firm.

So as I entered the work force, I was holding on with a vice-like grip to my new and improved lifestyle. I felt stable and capable, which was eons away from the state I’d been in a few years earlier, and I refused to let it slip away. I remember the first day of that desk job. I remember that I chose to start drinking coffee every morning from then on. I remember making a pact with myself that this new schedule would not derail me. As long as my money and my weight were under control, I was in a good place. And the new job provided the money stuff, so all I had to do was show up to my desk every morning and keep exercising every evening!

I went straight to the gym from the office each night, resentful that so much of my day had already been wasted away on law firm drama, but grateful that I had health insurance and a steady and comfortable paycheck. I’d spend the evening exercising to my heart’s content and then I’d head home for the day. I felt that I only had mental space for those activities and nothing else. I did not want to be distracted from my goals.

As will happen, I eventually got better at juggling my new schedule with my healthy lifestyle and I began to feel more comfortable adding other things onto my plate. It didn’t have to be all treadmills, but I was still timid. A few months later, I joined Harvard Sailing Team. I remember thinking, There’s no way I’m going to have time to do this AND work AND exercise, but I’ll give it a whirl.

Now, almost five years after graduating college, I get a kick out of thinking about how hard I worked back then to maintain one or two goals. My life today is overflowing with activities and obligations and I’ve somehow been able to carve out room for each of them – sorta: a sketch comedy group, an improv comedy group, an occasional performance with my two-person improv partner, a healthy relationship, a full-time day job, a new business venture and – lo and behold – a long-maintained 5-6 day a week workout regimen. It stuck! Through all of that and despite my worries, I never lost the exercise habit. Phew.

For a long time, I exercised because I had to. It was essential to my physical transformation, but it was even more essential to my sanity – it always reset me psychologically, allowing me time and space to be alone with myself. Now, I do it because I love it. It’s my favorite hobby and something I could gladly do for hours, if I had all the time in the world. It connects me to myself and it also introduces me to things I’d never otherwise experience – long jogs lead me to New York City neighborhoods I’ve never seen before, out of town jogs allow me to explore unknown surroundings, yoga classes provide me with an opportunity to meet new people and to be surrounded by a system of beliefs that are intriguing to me, trips to the gym give me a chance to be inspired by other athletes and to learn by watching their routines, walks through the park are meditative and force me to notice the natural world and its seasons – the list goes on.

Admittedly and as I’ve mentioned often, adding Fanny & Jane to the mix of an already full plate has been logistically challenging at times and, quite predictably, it’s caused me to be a little obsessive compulsive about getting to exercise.  Sometimes I have to sneak extra workouts into my schedule in strange ways, sometimes I have to speed walk or jog to meetings and rehearsals because I can’t fit a formal workout into the day, and sometimes I just can’t make it happen and I end up having to skip a workout. Then I spend the next 24 hours gently rocking back and forth. And of course, even when I do workout, I often wish I’d gotten to do just a tiny bit more. It’s a tireless effort to find a way to fit it in every day, but I’ll be damned if this scheduling puzzle is going to get the best of me.

So today, I have to go to the post office on my lunch break to ship an order for Fanny & Jane (the last of two orders we’ll ship before we briefly put a hold on accepting orders for a couple weeks so that we can focus on officially opening the biz!). I’ll try to squeeze in a brief walk while I’m out and about – nothing formal, just a quick 20 minute calorie burn. Then tonight, after work, I’m going to race downtown to Om Yoga to take an hour long “express” class before I race back up to the The PIT to perform with The Baldwins. Perhaps I’ll jog back up to The PIT? Perhaps I’ll jog down to yoga? Perhaps I’ll do some light pilates when I get home tonight while watching The Daily Show? Perhaps I’ll get up early tomorrow and do pushups in my pajamas?

This might be a sickness…

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Kev and I are leaving work early today and hoppin on a jet plane! We won’t be back until Monday. This rules. We are both very excited to be taking a vacation from work and from the city – like most people, we love to get away and we always come back from trips feeling refreshed. I can’t say too much about the nature of the trip quite yet, so I’ll explain later. I’m sure you’ll be holding your breath…

A few odds and ends:

I got up this morning and went for a run around Prospect Park. I love that park and I run around it a lot, but I never go in the morning. Because honestly? Who’s getting out of bed to go running? (Not me, is one answer.) But Kevin and I committed to helping each other wake up early this morning so we could finish a few last minute things. Once I was outside, I was in heaven. It was sunny, brisk and clear – perfect for running. The birds were cliche-ly chirping away and lots of people were out walking themselves or their dogs. It was a really great way to begin my day.  I hope to continue the trend as the weather warms. Also, the idea of being done with my workout by 8:30am is a welcome change to having to squeeze it into the middle of the day.

The weather in New York this weekend is supposed to be stunning. Mid-80s and cloudless. Can I just say, New York? I’m pissed at you for this. First of all, you know how much I love 80 degree temperatures. It’s the weather of my dreams. When I die, my afterlife will be sunny and 80s all the time except for Christmas time. So why have you chosen the first full weekend of glorious weather to be the one weekend I’m decidedly out of town? Yes, yes, I realize that everyone else will still get to enjoy it, but what about me? Don’t you know I have a blog? Second of all, it was 45 degrees just three days ago. I feel manipulated. That said, I really do hope all you New Yorkers get a chance to enjoy this weekend. This city is going to be delightfully abuzz with people in barely-any-clothing soaking up the sunshine and warmth in a real way for the first time this year. And I’m insanely jealous. Okay. I’m done. I’m done talking about the weather.

I’m going to miss the new kitten while we’re away. She’s becoming very snuggly and social lately. I hope she and Chawser enjoy the freedom from their parents who are constantly smooching them. Also, I am a cat lady. Kevin might be a cat lady too.

Due to the nature of the trip I’m taking, I get to do some Fanny & Jane baking by myself while I’m away. Meanwhile, due to the fact that we’ve gotten another custom cake order which needs to be ready by Friday afternoon, Faryn is also going to be baking by herself here in New York! This is exciting. It’s also a little scary. I enjoy being in the kitchen making sweets – it’s very soothing to me because it’s quiet time during which I’m focused on a singular task, and completing that task gives me a sense of accomplishment. But the planning, especially when you’re doing a lot of baking at once, sometimes feels like a big Rubik’s cube. For this weekend, I wasn’t sure how else to prepare but to make an entire schedule that reads something like “While the brownies cool, make the buttercream frosting. While the frosting sets, melt the chocolate and dip the cake bites. While the cake bites set, make the caramel sauce.” Yikes. Kevin has graciously agreed to help me and I’m giving myself an entire day to make a bunch of stuff so I should be fine. Faryn and I will both take plenty of photos so you can see the simultaneous Fanny & Jane-ing as it takes place.

Check out Faryn’s account of the upcoming weekend here.

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I went for a great run in Prospect Park yesterday. How about that perfect weather?

The park was overwhelmed with joggers, walkers, bikers and kid-chasers. Everyone was out and about. I saw a lot of dogs and kites too.

I’ve come down with a little chest cold so I took some sinus medicine just before I began my run yesterday. I think there must have been some kind of upper in it because I could have run through a brick wall. I felt like Iron Man. I think I did some yoga when I got home, but I can’t exactly remember. I just remember feeling like a machine.

I came crashing down about an hour later, just as Faryn and I were beginning our Sunday afternoon Fanny & Jane work. I should probably stay away from that sinus medicine. It felt *too* good. ;)

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Yesterday was probably one of the best Sundays I’ve had in a long time.

First of all, the weather was incredible. Just beyond belief. It was nearing 60 degrees all day with clear blue skies. So healing.

Kevin and I went for a run in Prospect Park in the early part of the day. There were so many people out and about, it was like Disney World. I just loved seeing everyone enjoying the day. Our run was perfect, about an hour, and so refreshing. I like exercising with Kevin – it’s like hanging out and working out all at once. It’s really nice.

After the run, I stopped back at the apartment to grab a sweater and my metrocard and then I headed to yoga class #1. This was an “open flow” class at Bend & Bloom, taught by my friend Jen. I’ve only taken this particular class one other time, two weeks ago, but I had an easier time of it yesterday than I did the time before. I knew to expect it to be slightly faster paced than the yoga I do at home and I also knew to expect some more intense poses than I’m used to. Jen said she considered yesterday’s class to be fairly challenging so I was happy to have just been able to keep up! I felt great when it was over, although I was a little tired from the intense class and my long run earlier in the day.

Jen kept reminding me that I had the option to bail on the second class, which we’d planned to attend together; she said she would totally understand if I wasn’t up for another hour and forty minutes of yoga on such a beautiful Sunday, but I told her I was most definitely going to the second class. I’d been looking forward to it all week.

We made our way into Manhattan, chatting the whole way about Jen’s experience being a yoga teacher. I had a lot of questions and she answered all of them. I gained some interesting insight into what might be in store for me. I also told Jen about the kind of yoga I imagine myself teaching and she was very encouraging of my ideas.

I’d never been to Om Yoga’s studios before. We arrived a little bit early and Jen showed me around the (huge, gorgeous) space and introduced me to some of her friends and former co-workers. Jen did her teacher training at Om, through their 6 week intensive, and she also used to work at their front desk, so she knew her way around.

I loved the energy in the studio. The photo above is their class schedule board for the day. Everyone was very nice and the space was so warm, inviting, comforting, and relaxing. While we were looking at a wrack of yoga shirts for sale in the lobby, the founder of Om Yoga, Cyndi Lee, walked up and said hello to Jen. I didn’t know who she was at the time, Jen told me later. She was a very sweet lady with a nice smile. It made perfect sense that her studio would be so inviting.

I wish I’d had more opportunity to look around in the little shop and enjoy some of the art on the walls. I bought a two-class-package (because it’s cheaper, per class, to buy two than just one) so I’ll definitely get to experience the homey space and warm energy a bit more.

The class we took was called “open & restorative,” and it was easily one of the best yoga classes I’ve ever had the pleasure of attending. Jen was absolutely right to suggest we take this particular class. She said it was one of her very favorites. I, too, loved it. It brought my love for yoga to a new level.

The room was slightly warm, the lighting was energizing and relaxing all at once, and the teacher was fantastic. The first part of the class was “flow,” which, from what I’ve been able to gather, means linking the breath to the pose. We did some really simple, yummy-feeling poses, slowly and gently, which felt so great on my fatigued muscles. It was incredible to spend a good hour practicing this way after having taken Jen’s more difficult class and I particularly liked having the two experiences back to back. Even though I initially doubted whether or not I’d be able to handle that much yoga in one day, I would take the back to back classes again in a heartbeat.

The best part of all, however, came during the second half of the class at Om. The restorative portion.

If you’ve never experienced a full-on restorative yoga class before, please take one. It might have changed me forever. Basically, after we were all warm and limber from the hour of poses, she had us rest in some unbelievably comfortable ‘healing’ positions, supported by different pillows and blankets. And then she turned the lights out. It was divine.  Experiencing the dark room was like being wrapped in soft cotton. The sounds of the city outside the windows and the rise and fall of people’s breath all around the room was hypnotic. I’d notice my thoughts drift toward details of the week ahead or what I planned to have for dinner later and then I’d just gently guide them away from all that chatter and back to my breath. I was in heaven. I’m not someone who will force myself to *feel* something if I’m not actually feeling it, but the calm energy in the room was palpable. When it was over, I felt (and probably looked) like a happy zombie, as did everyone else in the room. It was as invigorating and relaxing as the best massage you’ve ever had. Wonderful.

And it was also a perfect way to end my Sunday. I spent the entire day in my workout clothes, either running, walking, or taking yoga class. I practiced over three hours of yoga. A bit much, perhaps, and certainly not something I would be able to do every day, not from a physical standpoint anyway. (Or could I?) But from a mental standpoint, I enjoyed myself very much and would be elated to spend most of my days doing things like I did yesterday. It felt natural, relaxing, and freeing to me. I felt like I spoiled myself. And the affects have stayed with me today.

In terms of beginning to train to teach yoga, I’m still interested. Although, I’ve learned that there’s really no way to keep my current schedule and embark on that journey at the same time. Right now, I work until 7pm every weekday. I also have “after-school” obligations three evenings each week, and every Saturday.

It seems there are a few different schedules for yoga teaching teacher. It can be done as an “intensive,” meaning you’re in class all day long for six weeks. That’s obviously not an option for me right now. It can also be done in the evening, generally four or five nights a week, which is also not an option for me right now. Or it can be done on the weekend, which means Friday nights and all day Saturday and Sunday, which is not an option with my current schedule either.

This leaves me with some things to think about. Neither my job nor my commitment to my sketch and improv teams is going to change anytime in the immediate future, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to make room for teacher training some day, maybe even sooner than I imagine. Right now, the best way I can continue to prepare myself to teach yoga someday is just to deepen my own practice, which I’d want to do whether I planned to teach or not.

I downloaded some new classes from Yoga Download yesterday. I’m also eager to try out different studios throughout the city. One common piece of advice I’ve heard from yoga teachers is that I should experience as many different kinds of yoga, different teachers, and different studios as possible so I can get a true sense of what resonates most with me.

In the meantime, I’m going to take that restorative class again as soon as I’m able.

daydream job

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In mid December, inspired by exactly what I can’t remember, I made a list.

It was a Saturday. I’d gone for a run in Prospect Park earlier that day. We live two blocks from one of its entrances. It was surprisingly warm out for December and I felt so incredibly alive as I ran. I thought about my desk job and why I don’t like it, why I feel trapped there, why I undergo such a spiritual shift every Monday morning between 9 and 10 am.

As I ran I thought, I don’t care what else I do. I just can’t sit at that desk anymore. It hurts my body. I ran and ran and gazed around at the trees, the green-ness, the people running, biking, and tossing footballs. I thought, I just need to be active during the day. Whatever that means.

And then, in a divine moment of inspiration, I decided I should embark on a career to help heavy people get thin. I used to weigh 115 pounds more than I do today. And I’ve spent the last six years exercising, learning about exercise, honing my ability to avoid overeating, and talking to myself and other people about that whole psychological enchilada. If I’m nearing an expertise on anything, it’s that. This is perfect, I thought. I will take on clients, one at a time, and work with them, walk with them, take long long walks with them, and talk to them about their eating habits, their relationship to exercise, how they feel about being heavy, and most importantly, what they’re happy about, sad about, what they love and wish for. I spent the rest of that run daydreaming about becoming a Weight Loss Coach for Heavy People.

Easier said than done, of course. And I don’t know if I’ll end up doing exactly that or not. But a small door opened in my brain that day. I came home after the workout, my body and brain buzzing from endorphins of all kinds, and I immediately made a list. It didn’t have a title, but I knew that it was meant to be a list of daydream jobs – ways I could imagine happily spending my time, things I would be capable of working toward (with the right mix of schooling and opportunity of course), careers that didn’t involve sitting at a desk answering phones all day. List-making and list-conquering has always been a strong suit of mine, so it was a natural progression. Some of the things on the daydream jobs list surprised me, some of them didn’t. It said:

yoga teacher
kids piano teacher
weight loss coach for heavy people
animals related
helping old people
helping kids
traveling related
exercise related
fitness trainer
writer
improviser
comedian
tv show writer
baker
recycling related

Cool, right? Who knew I could imagine being a baker? Or a kids piano teacher?! I haven’t played the piano in ten years.

I guess that run in mid-December where I realized something else was possible was arguably the beginning of this journey. Whatever it ends up being, I just can’t sit at the damn desk anymore, you know? You know. You’re probably already sick of hearing me say it.