Category Archives: Be.

feed yourself – a word about diets and cleanses

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I don’t believe in cleanses. I don’t think they’re necessary. There, I said it.

I believe that our bodies like to eat, want food, need fuel, crave calories. I don’t believe in not eating for periods of time.

Yes, I realize there are certain cleanses where you do eat. I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about the ones where you drink juice.

I don’t have any scientific evidence to support my disbelief in cleanses. Although the Mayo Clinic does say, “The digestive system and bowel naturally eliminate waste material and bacteria — your body doesn’t need enemas or special diets or pills to do this.”

That. I like that.

Just Mary’s Mary Rambin is on a cleanse right now. I know she’s done cleanses in the past and I’m sure she’ll do them again. I don’t know her personally, I only read her blog, but I remember her once explaining via her blog her reasons for doing a cleanse and they all seemed valid and justified.

To each her own and I know Mary knows what she’s doing when it comes to her body.

Me? I don’t believe in cleanses.

While we’re on the subject of dieting and restrictive eating, I read something very interesting this week on Happiness Awaits, my friend Fitzalan’s blog. (Fitzalan is a great name, right?) In her post entitled “Nourishment” she talks about getting her resting metabolic heart rate tested. Here’s what she learned:

“I actually need 2187 calories a day…my goal is to maintain my weight. I have been getting ~1400 calories a day. I have basically been starving my body and that is why I am always exhausted and want to go to bed at 8PM.”

My jaw hit the floor when I saw that. She has been inadvertently denying her body almost 800 calories a day! I’m so happy for her that she discovered this.

Naturally, now that she’s challenged with the goal of consuming MORE food, not less, she’s nervous, like many of us would be. She said, “Eating more in my head equals gaining weight, which is something I obviously do not want to do.” She’s consulting a nutritionist to find out the best way to go about it.

I don’t write about Fitzalan’s situation to wag a finger at her – she was doing what many of us do – striving to maintain her weight, to be able to have an indulgence every now and then and not have to pay for it later. She was doing what she thought was best for her body.

But she was unknowingly starving herself to avoid gaining weight. I think her story is important.

Ladies, let us not go crazy with the rules and restrictions and 2, 3, or 5 pounds. In fact, I’m going to lighten up on myself about by my own goal to lose 10 pounds.

UGH. WHO CARES!

(Let’s be honest, I’m still trying to lose 10 pounds.)

My point is, crash diets and cleanses and not eating and not eating enough and over-exercising and stressing the fuck (yeah, I said it!) out about it all has got to stop. It’s good to be mindful about your health and weight, but Love First.

failure and living well

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I was flipping through the May 2010 issue of Oprah Magazine last night (Yes, I read it. No, I’m not embarrassed about that.) And I came across this article all about failure and living well, written by Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote “Eat, Pray, Love” and “Committed.”

The whole piece is a great, quick read that I think every woman should read. Click here for the full article.

Here’s an excerpt:

By all rights, every one of these clever, inventive women should be radiant with self-satisfaction. Instead, they twitch with near-constant doubt, somehow worrying that they are failing at life…(And) all of them worry that they need to lose 10 pounds.

It’s terribly frustrating for me to witness this endless second-guessing. The problem is, I do it, too. Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. (Like, I could really stand to lose 10 pounds.)

So here’s what I want to know: Can we lighten up a little?

As we head into this next decade, can we draft a joint resolution to drop the crazy-making expectation that we must all be perfect friends and perfect mothers and perfect workers and perfect lovers with perfect bodies who dedicate ourselves to charity and grow our own organic vegetables, at the same time that we run corporations and stand on our heads while playing the guitar with our feet?

I loved this article – again, I recommend reading the whole thing – and I couldn’t agree with her more.

Try, just for a minute, to believe that everything you do and have right now is already exactly perfect. That your life today is as good as it’s ever going to get – that you will never exercise more than you do today, never be more organized, never use up your groceries any more efficiently, never fight with your spouse more constructively – the way you are today is how you will be forever.

Sure, it sounds boring and stifling. Because we are humans who thrive off growth and change. But isn’t there part of it that seems like a little bit of a relief?

We put so much pressure on ourselves to CONSTANTLY be improving, growing, changing, losing weight, gaining friends, making career advancements, having our laundry done, keeping the bathroom clean and fitting into our skinny jeans that the idea of turning off that motor for an afternoon (or a lifetime) has its merits.

I’m not saying we should stop striving. Striving is part of what it means to be a woman in today’s culture.

I’m saying we should be a whole lot nicer to ourselves about the whole game.

yoga in your living room

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Yoga Download is my favorite place to find good yoga classes on the web.

They just released a brand new class!! Gentle Hatha #3. Best of all, the 20-minute version is FREE to download. I can’t wait to try it.

I’ve tried a few other podcasts or live streaming classes on other sites over the years, but none of them compare, in my opinion, to Yoga Download. I haven’t been paid or compensated in any way to say this, I just really like their site.

I started practicing yoga a few years ago when I threw my back out (while lifting weights, no less) and found myself hobbling around like an old, grouchy police detective who carries a heavy gun holster. There was little else I could do in the form of exercise for quite some time, so yoga became a staple in my life. I think starting a yoga practice may have saved me from a lifetime of further pain and injury.

Sadly, I haven’t been doing any yoga for the last few weeks though, choosing to prioritize other things before my health, which is never a wise move. So when I turned on a 20-minute Gentle Hatha class from Yoga Download yesterday and laid down on my mat, I could almost feel my muscles and bones thanking me for the attention.

The 20-minute classes on YD are all FREE and they’re great. They’re simple to follow, come in all styles and levels and leave me feeling like I’ve done something good for myself, even if only for 20 minutes. Of course YD offers longer classes too, which are also very inexpensive. Oh and they have videos, if you’d rather watch than listen, and printable pose guides if you’re confused about what you’re doing! Fantastic for your living room practice.

what not to wear + j brand houlihan cargo pants

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(Hillary Duff via Denimology.com)

I was just thinking, “I don’t know enough about fashion to be writing a post about fashion!” And then I realized, pffft, that’s ridiculous.

Fashion and style are not just what’s hot on the runway, or what Hollywood is wearing. Style is what looks good on YOU. It’s the timeless, classic, or even trendy stuff that you put on every time you want to look fabulous. It’s the outfit you know flatters your figure, the pieces you know you can mix and match to look your best.

“What Not To Wear” is the addictive TBS makeover show where style experts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly kidnap someone who needs a fashion overhaul and give her just that. The show empowers women to choose clothes that are right for them, and London and Kelly are adamant that what’s “in” right now isn’t necessarily what works best for every body type or every personality. “I feel very strongly that style is about the individual, not the industry,” Stacy London says (via SirensMag.com).

I love this philosophy. And I embrace it. Since I used to have a serious weight problem (I lost 115 pounds in my early twenties), I came late to the fashionable clothes game. When I was a heavy teenager and young adult, the last thing on Earth I wanted to do was attempt to look stylish and sexy. I realize now that looking good can happen at any size, but at the time, I wanted to crawl into a hole in the wall and never think about clothes, fashion or changing out of my pajamas.

Since I’m still a curvy girl today – I have never in my life owned anything smaller than a size 6 – I approach getting dressed with a mindset like Stacy and Clinton’s in mind: I wear what looks good on me. What not to wear? Everything else.

That’s why I just wrote a post on Gather about these new J Brand Houlihan Cargo Pants. Have you heard about these? Apparently they’re the hot new fashion trend, made popular first in Hollywood, of course.

They’re $230 a pair (although I’m sure cheaper knockoffs will be hitting shelves soon) and they’ve been seen on everyone from Rihanna to Gwen Stefani to Hillary Duff to one of the Kardashian girls (who can ever remember which one).

(Rihanna via Denimology.com)

I feel badly saying so, but I think we might be kidding ourselves with this trend, ladies. I literally laughed out loud when I saw some of the photos of celebs wearing these awful pants. They look terrible! As I said on Gather, they don’t seem to flatter anyone’s figure, except for the torso-less model on the J Brand website (and even she has to stand funny to make them look good).

The moral of the story is – Don’t be afraid to stick to the stuff that looks good on your body. Just because a new style is trending, doesn’t mean it should be. So stay above the fray.

And if you find someone who looks good in these terrible cargo pants, send them my way, will you? Until then, I’m going to remain convinced that Houlihan Cargo Pants are the fashion Gods’ latest well-played joke.



stupid brain

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I took the day off today – something I don’t get to do as often as I thought I would when I quit my desk job last year.

I’ve been working a lot of hours lately – writing, baking, performing and rehearsing. I can’t wait for those hours to be fewer some day, but for now I am building something. It takes time!

It’s hard for me to take a day off – it gives me anxiety. I feel like there are things I could be doing, should be doing, like opportunities and paychecks are slipping through my fingers. It’s kind of ridiculous. So today, instead of staying cooped up in my house on the computer all day long, I decided to shut my own stupid brain up and enjoy the beautiful, warm spring Saturday, guilt-free.

best cheap yoga in nyc

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Kevin and I like to talk about what we’d do if we suddenly had an abundance of money. I don’t mean millions (although, I think he’s hoping for millions), just enough to indulge from time to time.

One of the first things on my list is a monthly membership to one of my favorite yoga studios in NYC. Formal yoga classes in New York can be pricey – often more expensive than a gym membership. My favorite studio offers an unlimited monthly pass for $125. Oof. Too rich for my blood.

But there are ways to spend a little less on the best yoga classes in the city – if you’re willing to be flexible. (Pun delightfully intended.)

Best Cheap Yoga in Manhattan:

Ishta Yoga - (Update! I just got an email from Ishta – they’re offering a deal this Monday, May 17: an unlimited month of classes for $30. That’s a steal, since a month usually costs $125. Go here if you want to buy it.) This studio offers my favorite yoga class experience by far. The environment is calming, the rooms are big, the teachers are fantastic.  And they focus more on your relationship to your body, the earth, and your spirituality, rather than obsessing over making every pose perfect.

Unfortunately their single classes are the most expensive I’ve ever seen in the city. $22 for one class! (I treated myself to that price once, but never again. I just can’t afford it.) However, if you’re a new student, you can buy an unlimited monthly pass for $60! That’s a great deal. I took advantage of it earlier this year and it got me hooked on Ishta. They also offer a lovely meditation class with the studio’s founder, Alan Finger, included in the monthly unlimited membership, or $30 to drop-in.

Yoga to the People - Good, cheap “yoga for everyone.” They claim no celebrated teachers, no correct attire, no judgments, no right answers – just basic, happy yoga for anybody. For a mere $5, I love their hot power Vinyasa class. It’s an hour-long ass-kicking experience in a small, cramped room with people who’ve never done yoga in their lives alongside those who practice every day. Once you get past the hectic energy of the previous class leaving while your class enters, it can be a lot of fun. Most of the teachers are very good and they don’t take any of it too seriously. With three separate locations in town, YTTP also offers a “traditional” hot yoga classes (Bikram style), and a power Vinyasa class that isn’t hot (suggested donation!) – both of which are supposed to be great and are cheaper than lunch in Midtown.

Om Yoga – This Union Square yoga staple has been around forever. With dozens of master teachers and a lot of classes to choose from, it’s a great place to be a beginner or to deepen your practice. Their schedule changes every month and their drop-in prices are standard (between $14-17), but they also offer a “community” class a couple times a week for just $5. Taught by people just finishing their teacher training, the community classes aren’t as insightful as the regular ones, but they do the trick.

Kula Yoga – I did poses I’d never done before when I took a class at Kula. It’s often easy for yoga classes to feel very similar to one another; Kula’s innovative teachers make sure that doesn’t happen. Their drop-in fee is $18, but you can take advantage of their “new student special” and pay $30 for a three-class package. A sweet deal.

Vida Yoga – Located near the heart of NYU’s campus, Vida offers $5 classes for first-timers with a student ID, as well as a one-time week of unlimited classes for $10. This is the one studio on my list that I’ve never been to, but have really been dying to try. I’ll take advantage of that awesome $10 deal soon and I promise a review once I do.

I hope you won’t let the potentially high price of yoga in Manhattan stop you from seeking out good classes, great teachers and top-notch studios! You can practice yoga on any budget.

But if you come into millions, go ahead and splurge.

okay, okay – my weight loss tips!

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A few days ago, I wrote a post called “i’ve gained 10 pounds” in which I promised this blog wouldn’t be turning into a weight loss blog. And it won’t be! But I have gotten a few requests for my weight loss tips, so I’m happy to share them.

First, I want to say that I read this fabulous blog called Ramshackle Glam and I love what Jordan Reid had to say a few days ago about her relationship to her weight, and more specifically, about the Blueprint Cleanse.

This cleanse, which is basically a juice fast, has become popular in NYC recently thanks, in part, to people like Julia Allison and the girls at Non-Society. (If you don’t know what or whom I’m talking about, let’s keep it that way – you don’t want to know.) My friends and Faryn, Marina and Chloe recently did the Blueprint Cleanse themselves. I haven’t yet spoken to any of them directly about their experience, but I think it went just fine.

That said, Jordan Reid didn’t have quite the same experience. Everyone’s different! (If you want to read Jordan’s review of the cleanse and her thoughts about dieting, here’s the post.)

I bring up Jordan because I appreciate her perspective on healthy living and her weight, which is – mostly – that she doesn’t give it much thought. True, the girl is naturally thin and many of us aren’t. Many of us have to pay close attention to what we eat to avoid gaining weight. But something I want to say before I list my weight loss tips is this:

If you live your life in a perpetual state of trying to lose weight, or obsessing about, talking about and worrying about your weight, there might be something else going – something bigger than your concerns about your body.

I am not a psychologist and I’m not a nutrition expert, and I do believe in eating healthy, fresh, naturally lower-calorie stuff whenever possible.

I also think that obsessing about our bodies and our weight is crazy and ultimately ineffective. Just so you know.

So now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, if you want to safely and responsibly shed weight for the right reasons….

Here are my 5 Tips for Lasting Weight Loss!

1. Be realistic. Be realistic about how much weight you need to lose. Ultimately, you want to maintain a healthy, average weight. If you have a desire to be thinner than that, you need to look at what’s really going on because it’s probably not about your body, it’s about something else.

2. Be patient and stay committed. Whether you have 100+ pounds to lose, or if you’d only like to shed a few, losing weight takes time. It’s done by making lasting, simple changes to your diet and your lifestyle. It can be fun, but it can also feel challenging, so be patient with yourself. You are human, you will make mistakes, expect to fail sometimes – if you want weight loss to last, be loving with yourself, practice making changes every day and stay committed no matter what. This is not about willpower, it’s about commitment.

3. Be simple. Make simple changes. Eat less. Eat more greens. Eat more protein and whole grain. Take walks. Sleep more regularly. Do some yoga. These are all simple adjustments. Don’t go crazy overhauling your whole life in a weekend because it’s not likely to last and you will feel badly when it doesn’t. Pick a starting point that feels comfortable and thoughtfully make changes in that area of your life. More changes will follow. Then revisit #2.

4. Be smart. So, you have to eat a little bit less if you want to see the scale move. Period. That’s just the math of it. Exercise is important, but exercise is really more about your health – your heart, your mind, your bones – than it is about weight loss. In fact, if you never exercised, you could still lose weight by changing what you eat. I don’t recommend doing that, most people wouldn’t, because exercise is good for you. But what you eat and how much is the more important piece of weight loss. If the scale didn’t go down over the course of a month (a month, not a week, see #2), you need to be honest with yourself about what you’ve been eating and then eat a little less. Period. There are no quick fixes.

5. Be indulgent. Not all the time, no. That’s what got you into this mess. Be indulgent when it matters to you. Go out to dinner and enjoy yourself. Have a few drinks with friends at a special event. Enjoy a slice of cake on the rare occasion that one might present itself. Don’t buy cake at the store, keep it in your freezer, and eat it by yourself, but do not miss out on life because of your weight loss – trust me, that will backfire. Weight loss is not prison and dessert IS allowed. Giving into temptation sometimes, and indulging on occasion can make watching what you eat so much easier.

I think that’s it. I could share dozens of other tricks, tidbits and advise, but the bottom line is that we all KNOW HOW to lose weight! Eat less, move more.

Losing weight isn’t so much about what you do, as it is about what you think and feel. You’ve got to believe in yourself, in your ability to succeed, and you have to keep practicing the habits necessary (you know what they are) to achieve results, even if it takes 2 years. There are no quick fixes, there aren’t any shakes or powders that will solve this issue for you.

My overall thesis statement advice is this:  Think about why you might be overeating. Then be loving with yourself while you practice eating a little bit less. Do it every day and see where you end up!

what’s to come

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After a successful first month as a writer for Gather.com, I was so excited when they recently told me they’re happy with my work and asked me to help pilot a new Home & Garden program on their site! Yay!

Right now, I write Food/Seasonal stories, and I also write Women’s Lifestyle stuff. I haven’t ever written a ton about home decor, design, or outdoor stuff – there are many more capable home designers out there than I am – but when Gather asked me to help pilot the program, I knew I could certainly give it a whirl. The “keywords” relating to Home & Garden articles hit on a variety of topics, from “apartment design ideas” to “dinner party menu ideas” to “vegetable gardening for beginners,” and all imaginable topics in between. So I’m really excited (and honored) to have the opportunity to learn more about that stuff, try out some ideas myself, and write articles about all of it.

The experience, overall, of writing for Gather these last few months has been a good one. (And no, I am in no way compensated for saying any of this, it’s just my personal opinion and experience.) I am so lucky to have found this gig, because my bank account really needed the extra supplementary income. And I didn’t realize it at the time, but my creative brain really needed the new energy. I have been a writer since I was a kid – something I’ve talked about many times on this blog – and it’s no surprise that I turned to writing this blog to help boost myself up and out of my Corporate Job Rut a year and a half ago. I’m someone who processes things through writing about them.

So having the chance to write for a living is something I’ve always dreamed I’d get to do, something I’ve often (wrongly) doubted I’d ever have a chance to do, and something I’m very grateful to have found. It’s also provided me some mental space and clarity with Fanny & Jane, and an opportunity to let the bakery grow and change at its own pace – which feels more comfortable to me than forcing it to fit into whatever mold or direction I hope it will.

I’m feeling very content lately, but also very antsy. It reminds me of being a little kid – when you want to fast forward your life to find who you will be and how things will look when you’re an adult. I am dreaming of business trips around the country, weeks spent on location shooting something, traveling for research. I’m dreaming of vacations to interesting places – all the photos I’ll take and cuisines I’ll try.

(Speaking of different cuisines, my dear friend Marina just got back from a business trip to South Korea, of all places. She’s literally a celebrity there now, if you can believe it. She starred in a feature film a while back that just opened a film festival over there last month. She had to buy a fancy gown, was flown in to attend press conferences, walk the red carpet, and schmooze with the fans. She took it all in stride and came back with amazing stories to tell. I’m so proud of her – just had to share that.)

The point is, I’m dreaming of what is possible and what’s to come.

In that vein, you’re probably going to see some changes coming soon to follow my bliss. My personal experience will still be the central thread of this site. After all, sharing my story is why I started this blog to begin with, why it’s grown, and it will be a key piece of how it continues. But there’re a lot of other things I’d love to write about and explore too.

I’m not sure exactly what that will mean or how things will end up, but I’ve been having some meetings about where to take this site and where my creative impulses lie, and I’m so excited about what’s possible. That’s all I’ll say for now, so let’s just see what happens!

It’s a gloomy, cloudy, windy Mother’s Day here in NYC. I slept for 13 hours last night, after two days of lotsa work with Harvard Sailing Team (which was, as always, fun, exciting and exhausting), but now I’m feeling sluggish and a little under the weather. So I’m going to take this day to relax, rest, and snuggle in with the cats. And maybe I’ll make some notes and do some daydreaming about what’s to come!

The photos in this post, by the way, are a handful of older, random photos I’ve taken in the last couple years.

(p.s. One more thing – speaking of what’s to come, my web friend Kathleen, has recently made over her blog and I love her new site! Check it out. Yay, Kath!)

friday

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Look who has been secretly eating the leaves of these tulips I just bought. I discovered her this morning.

I have been adoring my kitties lately – what else is new – and also my boyfriend, who is my best friend. Awwww, cheesy and sweet, etc.  Spring is here, the light pours into our living room in the morning, we both work from home and we make breakfast together and we have our morning rituals with our cats and life is good.

What else? I will turn 30 six months from today. Yikes! Please be prepared to roll your eyes at the frequency with which I might mention that I’m about (“about”) to turn 30 over the next few months. I am probably going to be one of those people. I guess I thought I’d never turn 30, that it wouldn’t happen to me. I know, I know, it’s not a big deal, it’ll be great, blah blah blah. Just let me have my mini drama over it.

I’m with Harvard Sailing Team on Long Island right now. The two members of our team who are living in LA right now are back in New York for the weekend. We did two shows today, had a couple rehearsals, and now we’re out in the burbs tonight and tomorrow. We’re shooting a video and working on some other scripts and projects that are in the works.

Long day. I’m beat, but happy and loving spending time with my friends.

exhaustion

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You guys, I’m exhausted. Since Kevin and I got back from Chicago last week we have both been going non-stop.

It dawned on me the other day – this first year of having quit my job is going fabulously so far, I could not have imagined it would work out the way it has – but once it’s over, I think I will look back on it as a hard year too. Sometimes, it’s hard.

There’s a certain sense of pressure to make it all work, to succeed, to accomplish this thing I set out to do. Of course, I’m already doing it, so there’s no sense dwelling in places that aren’t happening now, but we all know that’s easier said than done.

I am so lucky to have so much support and unconditional faith from my mom, my stepdad, my boyfriend, my friends, my cousins, my aunt and uncle, even my therapist. I am a lucky young lady. And I would not be able to do this all without their undying encouragement.

I don’t feel pressure from them to succeed, interestingly. The pressure is from the inside out. I know this life – one I’ve built for my own fulfillment – is possible. So I try to prove it to myself daily.

Even though the next month, with all of its unknowns, always lurks around the corner, I’ve got to remember to check in with where I am right now. I’ve been pleasantly surprised so far, so there’s no reason to assume that won’t keep happening.

I’ve been working long hours and I’m tired. I go non-stop most days. I lay on the couch at night for maybe 30 minutes, if that, before I pick up the next task or project that I work on until early in the morning. These aren’t complaints, just observations. Nobody else has created this but me, so it must be how I work best. Better to turn off the judgment.

This tired is a good kind of tired, though. Tired to the bone from having worked hard for what I want.